Sloppy Friday roundup – In China

So, That Man’s in China again. Every time he says he’s going on another trip, I get worried. Aren’t I sweet? No, not really. More self-preserving. In China, bad things happen. In Sydney.

This is what happened last trip. The trip before? Was weirdly isolating. I somehow managed not to speak to a single adult for about 7 days, and have strangely never felt so lonely in my life. It’s times like that I hate living in a big city like Sydney. To be so surrounded by people, seeing them, driving amongst them, yet feeling completely alone. I tooted some of them in case I had accidentally turned invisible. I had not.

My friend even has a code-word for me needing her to drop everything and come. I just need to tell her ‘I’m in China’, and she knows that’s a Code Red. That I’m going loco inside my brain and need adult conversation, company, or alcohol intervention (adding, not subtracting), STAT. Thank God for these friends, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY to them!

This time, I’m prepared. My preparation went like this. Shop for easily preparable meals. Make no social engagements. Plan to sleep early and a lot. Place no undue pressure on myself or the kids. Get to the gym to clear my head and for energy. Eat healthily. Sleep some more.

The reality? Sunday night, my gorgeous dog Herbie went… strange. He is my constant shadow, so being clingy was normal, but then to sleep in the girls’ bedroom instead of mine? Unheard of. Still, it made Little L happy so I let it lie. Like a sleeping dog, so to speak. *Cough* (sorry). Did the 10pm blood glucose fingerprick on Little L. Did the 3 am  fingerprick on Little L. Happily a straightforward night. But at 4, I hear her yelling. Herbie is wailing and yelping, and he’s all glassy-eyed and twitchy. He’s also completely floppy when I try to make him stand, and a dead weight. He doesn’t appear to recognise me. He’s 9, and I think something’s happened, like a stroke, and that maybe the end is on its way. So I grab some blankets and wrap him up since he seems really cold and shivery. At 5 Little A yells out with a nightmare. I crawl under the blankets on the floor with Herbie between the girls’ beds and sleep there for an hour. Wake up feeling 500 years old. My hips don’t lie, like Shakira’s, and are no longer built for floor sleeping. Looking in the mirror, I see the zombie apocalypse was also part of that night’s adventures. I am HOT. Like only the walking dead can be.

Thankfully, I think, Herbie had a seizure. He has recovered fully. Perhaps it’s old age, or a slow-growing tumour. Time will tell whether it’s isolated or the onset of doggy epilepsy. I paid the vet some LOVELY MONEY! Cos she was nice, and I like to give people MONEY WHEN IT’S CHINA. Then, the toilet decided to keep running. Running, and running and running. But not flush. How fun! We can go and use the one outside in 10 degrees and pouring rain in the laundry! Oh, WOOPS! Little A forgot and dropped a chocolate submarine in the toilet! What fun!! Let’s just pour some buckets of water down there, shall we, while we find a plumber? Cos we LOVE to spend money when it’s China.

Doggy-lickin' love.

Doggy-lickin’ love.

Today, I found that everything in the laundry has stopped working. Oh, the boring mundanity of EVERYTHING BREAKING AND STOPPING WORKING! The fridge is defrosting, the washing machine won’t turn on, (which is fine because I’M ABOUT TO BUILD AN ARK ANYWAY), and nor will the dryer. Fuses, obviously. Because I know about all this stuff, and it’s probably caused by the terrible weather, which is also likely a pre-warning of the real zombie apocalypse, because CHINA. Shall we find an electrician? To spend SOME MORE CHINA MONEY? Ah, no. My lovely dad will come to the rescue. LOVE dads. I am also pleased I can turn my freezer back on and don’t have to eat a leg of lamb, 3 kgs of frozen chicken and 10 sausages all by tomorrow night. I would have been quite full.

Some things are working in my RIDICULOUS plan for China week. I am going to the gym. It’s keeping me SO CALM! Can’t you tell? Sleeping? Is not working out at all. That one is in the bin. I plan to get payback and ask for 3 sleep-through-the nights in a row when That Man gets home. I’m not spending enough time with the girls, enough time cooking great meals, enough time keeping my house tidy, enough time washing clothes, enough time being any kind of functioning blogger, and just a little bit of time doing everything badly. I can’t blame myself though. I haven’t the spare time or cash to do so, because somehow, someway, blaming myself would likely end up costing MONEY.

I blame China.*

[*Please, also, if you are China and you are reading this, please don't take this personally. I'm just having a less than optimal week. I'm very fond of your imported goods, electronic equipment, and iPad covers. Please send That Man back in one piece. Preferably toting Duty Free alcohol.]



27 thoughts on “Sloppy Friday roundup – In China

  1. Oh the woes of the travelling hubby. I hear you. We used to live in Chile and hubby was forever travelling round the region and I was in Santiago a lot with baby. At the beginning it was particularly bad because we didn’t have friends and I didn’t speak Spanish! So not only would I not speak to another adult for a week, I wouldn’t speak to anyone in English or Spanish! Now that is really weird. Isolating. Invisible.

    We got back to Aus in January and I’m still so excited in being able to pass the time of day with random chit chat IN ENGLISH to random people.

    I know Sydney can be a clicky, stuck up sort of place to live – millions of people and no one to talk to. So, I moved to Canberra.

    And as for CHINA, well, don’t get my started…
    Lani recently posted…Made in BangladeshMy Profile

    • HAHA so you’re on of those crazy ladies who like to make small talk when they buy milk, hey? ;) Now I know what it’s all about. They’ve all spent too long alone and invisible in Santiago. Poor possums. That truly does sound quite horrendous, in all seriousness though. Well done for surviving! (Did you hug the english-speaking customs officers? :)

      Canberra. Yes. It has much to commend it, other than its weather. It is the home of my bestie, and the Brumbies, and a very very tiny village, and roundabouts. Commendable decision. Thanks for coming to visit me in China Lani!

  2. Good Lord China has a lot to answer for. In a show of support I refuse to cook or eat any Chinese food for a week! Wise choice cuddling up to some booze for comfort. I’d have drunk the bottles shop dry after a week like that.

    Glad your pooch is ok x
    Aleney recently posted…Cracking up over Tea EggsMy Profile

    • Oh WOW Aleney a whole week? Big call for you – and very sweet. I think YOU should be onto that drinking the bottle shops dry thing right about now, after your recent run in with Humpty Dumpty. Cheers! No Tsing Tao though. xx

  3. Oh MY. Another ball-torn work widow. I have been in China too many times to count, but one of the worst ever was February the year before last, during which I did not know WHAT to save first. BOTH my children began at new schools, we had a rodent infestation and my son had a mystery bleeding foot problem from which cancer was mercifully ruled out, yet still followed by surgery. (3x OMGWTF Week posts if you’re interested, particularly the Tuesday I think). Because crises NEVER seem to occur when the man is at home, right? Good luck with lovely Herbie, that sounds quite scary :( x
    Twitchy recently posted…Random Stuff and SUPER Eye CandyMy Profile

    • Ball-torn indeed! I love that. Holy crapballs – I think you take the trump card of widow WTF weeks! I’m gonna go check them out (you know – misery shared or something…) nah really. Just want to see me some eye candy. Soothe my weary eyes x

    • I am, apparently, back in Sydney today, thanks Lisa! I’ve been given 5 mins at my computer in any case … That’s gotta count for something ;)

  4. I’m sorry for chuckling, not at the bad things, but you did manage to write them so amusingly! I am glad your poor pooch is feeling better, all fingers and toes crossed. My dog used to have sort of seizures, and they never did find out what it was, and in the end it was his kidneys killed him, so with any luck it will just never happen again.
    Hugs and whatnot to you and yours!
    Oculus Mundi recently posted…the bint who hated baldy tadgers. manscaping is for pansies. also, bacon.My Profile

    • Don’t be sorry for chuckling- laughing at life’s rubbish is the point, right? I hope you’re right about Herbie – I’ll hold onto that in any case. Kidneys FTW, or something, yes??!?! ;) x

  5. Sounds like a crazy week. I know the other night I was alone with my kids and usually they go to sleep with a peep. This night Mr S kept crying about every 5 mins from a nightmare and then Miss E woke up at Midnight not able to sleep. So they both eventually came into my bed but I still couldn’t get to sleep until it was about 4am.
    Judy @Australian Inspirational Women recently posted…Yes … I Do Love Horses!My Profile

    • Ha, yep! I think you’re right Alicia, and that hole we’ve dug is deep enough to reach the other side now. He can just crawl home through the tunnel now – stuff that aeroplane. Xx

  6. Oh No poor Herbie… just hate it when the four legged members of the household grow old and things start going wrong with them… we have shares in our Vet practice!! Have to admit I was one of those responsible for flitting off to *China* so we could have more imports to choose from…. not anymore though – AND when gorgeous Son was little helpful Hubby was always travelling and everything went wrong with everything every time!!!! I think there must be a clause in the contract stating this will be the way things go…. if I could find the contract I would check it for you – It shouldn’t get any worse now though… keep smiling.. :-) x
    Lynne recently posted…Bringing Home the Bacon..My Profile

    • Thanks Lynne – it’s true. We’re in the homeward stretch, and Herbie is back to his normal self. The rabbit with pneumonia is plodding along, but, well… my caring has to kind of max out somewhere…. If the kids are still alive and speaking to me in two days i’ll be happy. :) x

    • This trip aint so bad really. There’s no vomit or hospital threats. I’m just being a big OGRE MUM and feeling bad about it so i’m going to start buying L’s bday pressies today and try and be all nice and understanding tonight. Maybe after i just close my eyes for a little while this morning…

  7. I’m big on treating yourself (making life easy) when you are home alone…and why does everything break? Our smoke alarm always goes off and I’m too short to reach it, without fail when my partner goes away.
    I’m glad your dog is alright. And remember, better to travel to foreign lands alone than to never go anywhere – I just made that up which is why it doesn’t rhyme or sound profound or poetic….and at least you’d eat the good duck and pork in China. They are KINGS of the kitchen.
    PS Here’s to a better week :)
    Lydia C. Lee recently posted…First of the Month Fiction – JulyMy Profile

    • Thanks Lydia – it’s not so bad. I’m just REALLY tired. He’s getting his fill of good street hawker food apparently. Octopus skewers FTW! I like your un-rhyming mantra. Hope you will make it to the blogger drinks this time – no colour running – I want to hear more about A LOT OF THINGS.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

CommentLuv badge