I used to be a round window girl, but now I’m not so sure.

Time changes all. As a girl, watching Playschool, I always chose the round window. Who would choose the square one? We had them at home. The round one had nice soft edges that appealed to my childish sentiments. The arch? Too many places for a bird (me) to get stuck on the way out. Looking back on the girl I was later, as a late teen embarking on her 20s, she seems like somebody I used to know. Gotye would have broken up with her too.

You can get this on a T-shirt. I think I want one.

You can get this on a T-shirt. I think I want one.

Who was this girl that thought those thinks? That wore those ways? That said those words?

I used to think that marriage was the end of the line, like death. I believed a relationship must become so snoozy once you were married, with nothing new once you’d been through the excitement of being young and engaged then travelling and working, that once you had kids you may as well just lie down and stop breathing, to mimic the excitement your life was likely to bestow. Hilarious! Slap that girl silly. I am knocked down with a fresh (albeit not always pleasant) surprise each and every week by That Man, and by my kids. The intricacies of a human relationship are ever unfolding. Try explaining that to an 18-year-old who is, like, so bored.

I used to think the Lotto girl on TV had an awesome job. There is still some merit to this theory. She turns up for a 5-minute stint on TV at 8:30pm, has a locked-in contract that likely pays quite nicely, and has no need to do her own hair, makeup or wardrobe. In the day she needs to focus on going to the gym or the hairdresser, or perhaps the beach. In the depths of winter on a rainy night as I type this after having just put kids to bed, this idea is now quite revolting. Having to get out of my yoga pants, smile, and say the SAME thing to the camera, night after night, when you may be missing out on a birthday, a wedding, or a family illness because LOTTO WILL WAIT FOR NOBODY would suck. Big hairy balls. (See what I did there? So subtle. Maybe I could do standup… in yoga pants).

I used to think my dream job was in a publishing house, editing fiction novels by big-name authors. Now, I am Amy Winehouse’s protegee, singing NO, NO, NO. Fiction editing in publishing houses is a tough gig. Long hours, small pay. And big-name authors? Must be treated with big-name kid gloves. Editing content where writers are less vested in the placement of their apostrophes and commas makes things calmer for me.

I used to think people over 35-40 were sad/washed-up/had stopped trying. Now, I understand they (OK FINE WE) are relaxed. Comfortable in our (snake) skins. Know there’s a time to live (summer), a time to die (winter, where we curl up in balls of ugg boots and wine). A time to turn, turn, turn, or something something something (I think there was a song my parents liked). It is the time, anyway, now, for drinking wine. That is all.

I used to freak out each year I discovered a celebrity or tennis player was younger than me. Say, when Britney hit the big time at 16 and I was 19. This is not strictly factual. I’m certain our age gap is wider… I am just too lazy to look her up right now, and also a little scared of what I might see of Britney on Dr Google. I’ve seen a dog use carpet as toilet paper today. My eyes can’t take much more. The source of this aging fear at NINETEEN (!!!!) was somehow that I was running out of time to be significant, make my mark and rule the world. Amazing, shocking fact coming … I grew up to NOT RULE THE WORLD. Horrendous. But not, actually.

Sadly not my place. This is Macedonia. One day.

Sadly not my place. This is Macedonia. One day.

Because I rule my world. My small, insignificant world. And now I choose the arched window, because it’s the most interesting of all. Who knew?


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Linking up with The Lounge, hosted by the glorious RACHEL at The Very Inappropriate Blog the-lounge-logo


30 thoughts on “I used to be a round window girl, but now I’m not so sure.

  1. Oh Kimbo-slice I love this post. I was always an arch window girl – it just looked like it had more possibilities! I remember arrogantly thinking at 18 that older people (who were, like, 35 or something) must be SOOOO jealous of all the fun me and my equally ignorant 18 year old friends had falling in and out of night clubs and puking in the back of taxis. Little did I know that those 35 year olds were having LOADS more fun because they knew who they were, and weren’t constantly plagued by feelings of inadequacy and fear of being found wanting in some way.

    For what it’s worth my mid-life crisis is turning out to be the most fun I’ve EVER had :)
    Rachel recently posted…The Truth About Toilet FairiesMy Profile

  2. I am so surprised. I picked a different window each episode yet so many stuck with the same one? I guess your shape would eventually be picked… maybe it is cleverer (and better odds) to stick with the one.

    Lovely post. As someone who has already hit the old and boring forty, I can say, it really is the best time. And I’d choose my small insignificant world over any other.
    Kate recently posted…Say a little prayerMy Profile

  3. I’m only scared of getting older because OMG the responsibility does it ever end. Some days I want to just go back to worrying about what colour to make barbies hair and step off the real world for a few days.
    Tegan recently posted…H is for…My Profile

  4. You might get your hair and make up done and wear fancy clothes, but you always had your Saturday nights taken up by being in the studio identifying “balls”. If I was going to do that, I’d rather be in a night club :)
    Grace recently posted…FYBF – The Sloth EditionMy Profile

  5. I just love this post Kim. I was always fascinated by the windows on Playschool. I can’t say I identified with a particular shape, but they did seem to hold endless possibilities. I was genuinely excited to see which new ‘world’ we were going to end up in through the looking glass. I don’t think my kids find them nearly as interesting though!
    Lara @ This Charming Mum recently posted…When did I become a soulless Dick?My Profile

    • 9:01… nope. Pretty sure it’s time for wine, in Yugoslavia perhaps. Cheers, lovely! And I’ll see your ugg boots and raise you a man jumper. That’s what men are for, right? Their jumpers? We are so hot right now. In a thermal kind of way :)

  6. I’m with you on the round window. I sat at a festival last weekend with my teenage daughter eyeing up the passing talent – then I realised she was looking at the sons while I was assessing the middle aged fathers and I felt the collagen seeping out of me …
    Sarah Mac recently posted…Free Styling The Lounge WayMy Profile

    • Ooooooh I know – it’s sad when the middle-aged fathers start to look appealing… but it can’t be all bad if you’re at a festival. GO YOU! Re-collagenise! That’s 50 collagen points right there!

    • I hear you Mez. I still get a rude shock when I walk into Supre and get funny looks. WHAT!!? Oh – right. I’m old. I keep forgetting. Well, I’ve gotta get my oh-so-hot yoga pants somewhere, right? xx

  7. As a child the arch intrigued me. It had character and style and a rebellious “I don’t give a damn” attitude that I was too boring and afraid to have. Oh, how I wanted to be like an arched window instead of a boring old square. Now, I’m in my early 40′s (a time I too imagined I would be sad/washed up and old) and instead I’m living my best ever life. And just like my old friend the arch I no longer give a damn. I think that may just be why! :-)
    Aleney recently posted…Tofu, or not tofuMy Profile

    • I think you’ve said it – the best part of all this is the stopping giving a damn! We aspire to it as young people, but feel sorry for those that actually DO it. Now we’re doing it – it’s awesome! (And – can I say – I am quite jealous of your job. You have it – the one I want in adult-land. The arched window one. Lucky lady. TAKE THOSE FAMILS! ;)

    • Thanks Lisa. I once knew someone who achieved so much as a designer by his mid-20s, and achieved all his career goals, he had nowhere left to go. That gave me something to chew on. I even felt a little sad for him. I later discovered he’d thrown it all in to become an artist. A successful one, naturally, with write ups in magazines all over the place. Some people. It’s enough to make you vomit.

  8. I don’t know what I really used to think when I was younger except that I’m sure I thought I’d have all my shit together before I was this age. Or at least have that feeling of being more comfortable in my own skin. Sadly, I still struggle. If you’ve mastered that, you’re doing great. Good luck with those arched windows. xo
    Ness recently posted…Leaves On A StreamMy Profile

    • Shit together?? Nope. Haven’t sorted that one yet. But I have a better idea of what I like. And I do like those pretty arched windows. xx

  9. Lordy Kim – there’s so much in this post. Where to begin? I too would chose the arched window – I find it classically elegant. On the strange ideas that inhabit the minds of the youth – I am the first to admit that I was a complete twat back then. I romanticized being a graphic designer until I dated one. And I am still freaking out about celebrities being younger than me as I dont want to appear a lust addled, deluded cougar – “and yet it moves” as Galileo famously said.
    mumabulous recently posted…Things That Make Me Go “Wow”My Profile

    • I think the best approach now is to just feign ignorance. Best to pretend we think everyone is our age. In any case, I don’t know many Galileo-quoting cougars. I suspect you’re safe.

  10. I was and must admit I still am a round window girl. And I am shamelessly making Punky a round window lover too.

    I totally get this post. Some of the things I used to think and feel, I just wonder what the hell was wrong with me! I used to swear I would never get married and now I think its one of the best things I ever did. It’s funny how you thoughts and perspectives change with age, but try to tell someone younger than you and its just not possible. I wouldn’t have listened to 30-something me at 21 or even 25! Trying to explain that to my 25 year old sister is hard work!
    Kylez @ A Study in Contradictions recently posted…I Should Be So Lucky that My Happiness isn’t Under the Water so I can Praise You when You Shit Me to Tears! Asshole!My Profile

    • I once tried to sell these ideas to a younger “me” and she wasn’t buying. So I quit. You’re right Kylie – there’s no way to sell it until they get there themselves. Ooooh don’t I sound like a wise old WITCH!

    • It’s true – fulfillment seems to come with the loss of collagen. Nice choice on the arch. It’s the most interesting – I’m sure of it. ;)

  11. We are the centre of our own universes, and everything revolves around us. I’m a guest star in your movie and you’re a guest star in mine…and it changes how we see things…
    But I do have those moments when a dr is 12…ok probably 26 but that now looks like 12 to me…
    By the way, I love the Maria and Luis married and are still on Sesame St. They’ve been on it for 40 years…and I’d be the lotto girl if they paid me. Lotto old lady.
    Lydia C. Lee recently posted…Sing, Sing a SongMy Profile

    • A Sesame Street match made in heaven. 40 years… that’s true grouch love. I wonder if they sing the alphabet to each other each night before they go to sleep? You know the most wonderful random facts Lydia. I’d love to catalogue your brain.

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