Vanity Friday – NAILED it


I would never, ever do this.

This is a quickie, because, let’s face it, I got nuthin’. What do I know about beauty? Not much. But it’s so much fun playing with all that goo, and play with it I will.

I have not advice, but tales of woe and lessons learned from my own wrongdoings. Today’s broadcast is brief, and brought to you by REVLON! Really – can you even believe they’re not paying me?

Oh, and MIKI, because when it’s raining outside, I paint my toenails blue, because then I have blue sky on my feet if not outside. Don’t underestimate the power of blue toes to brighten your day, sweet peeps.

This is my only piece of advice. When you are going out, and you want to paint your nails so you feel like a million bucks (even though you only have $2), go ahead and paint them even though you are sitting in the passenger seat of the car. BUT, and this is a BIG, HUGE, BUT… always wait to do them at the red lights, or at the petrol station (if you get really lucky and the tank has run empty). Do not, I repeat, not, attempt to slap it on as your friendly driver is swinging around corners because nail polish on your index finger and inside your friendly driver’s ear does not look so hot.

You could probably buy stuff with these nails. Like free straws.

That’s it. That’s all. Have a good night! (Well, those of you north of the equator who still have one coming up!) xx


‘Another pimple. Agh. Thank God i’m wearing my mask.’

Friday is going to be vanity day. Because, just because. It’s the weekend, and we MAY go out, and wear pretty things, and wear pretty shoes, and put on pretty faces, and drink tequila until we are pretty no more. Maybe.

This Friday, I’m talking about disguise. I am Batman, the master of disguise. I am the proud owner of middle-aged acne, bacne, and sometimes chin, chest and anywhere else you can think of acne. I know – such a first world problem – but I never pretended I wasn’t talking about vanity today. It’s unsightly and annoying, and I’d love it to go away. I feel teenaged and unattractive and it does less than wonderful things for my self-esteem, and so, I have embraced a number of helpful disguises to make me feel more pretty when I occasionally make it outside my house.

I do need to point out, That Man that lives here hates me doing the makeup thing, but impatience is not a virtue. Remember that o great men. Until such time as I can get society to embrace the beauty of pimples, (remember the fair skin is cool trend, anyone?  Yep – thought so. Pass the fake tan) I won’t feel very comfortable without it.

There are a few weapons in my arsenal. These are all my own opinions, so if you don’t like them, tell your dog. If you know how to fix the source of the problem, tell me!

On a fairly ok face day, I use Garnier Daily All-in-One B.B. Cream or Miracle Skin Perfector. I still don’t know what the ‘BB’ stands for. I’ve been slapping it on my face for months now, hoping i’ll get Big Boobs, but the results have been disappointing to say the least. Right – looked it up. It’s ‘blemish balm’. A balm for my blemishes! How delightful. It’s inexpensive, has SPF 15 which is important in Aussie-land, is moisturising, has mineral pigments and some light coverage to even out your complexion. The main reason I like it is the faint ‘glow’ it gives – without shine, but a bit of natural looking brightness.


There isn’t enough coverage for the hard work pimples though, so then I whack concealer over the top. Here is where I’m EXTREMELY tricky. Yeah right. I use two different shades of concealer. There are 500 000 million different types of concealer, and I’m not really very particular about which one I use, as long as one is lighter, and one is a medium shade. The lighter one I use for under my eyes to cover dark circles. The light shade also covers blemishes on my neck, which is always more pale than my face, and in the interests of looking ‘natural’, it’s important to match the tones of the skin you’re treating. The darker/medium shade is fine for the rest of the face, which likely has seen some sun or more of the ‘elements’ and may be a bit darker.

This is what I’m using at the moment – Covergirl TRUconceal concealer.


And then THIS is my new great discovery. Dr LeWinn’s have recently launched a Skin Perfect Anti-ageing foundation and primer, with SPF15. I’m thrilled, because there’s nothing worse than being a wrinkly spotty teenager. It contains ingredients that renew and stimulate the skin and help enhance collagen. It also contains moisturising ingredients to hydrate, and tourmaline for  radiance and glow. I have previously always avoided foundation because it feels like I have icing on my face, and if I smile it will crack.  This feels really silky, though, and doesn’t move all day. I like the idea that something that’s making my skin look better is theoretically making it look younger at the same time. It feels moisturising, and has a powdery matte finish. I’m in love!

I’m pretty sure I’m Batman. Batman’s disguise comes off in water though, so I’m hoping my superhero talent (you know, when I fall into the leaking puddle of toxic radioactive ooze) will be to grow an impermeable invisibility coat of perfection over my imperfect skin. Perfect for summer swimming. Or in the alternative, that someone will comment and tell me how to banish problem skin, forever!