Another successful downward dog day

I’ve mentioned before how much I love going to my happy place - the gym, for some alone time and the chance to score cheap childcare. The days at home seem to pass so much more quickly with a brief respite from the limpet needing a ‘high huggle’. And, amazingly, after an hour away, they turn cuter! Magic. I really should tell them to stop photoshopping my kids while I’m gone.

As usual, we had five minutes left to make it from our place onto the yoga mat, and amazingly the planets and green lights and children aligned. I made it. There was some chi ball dancing, some butt torture (‘Ryan Gosling is seeing you naked for the first time’ I started saying in my head for motivation, but it was more like ‘fuck fuck fuck I’m going to die’ by the end), and some lying down. I liked the lying down most.

Some highlights:

1) The uncanny resemblance my neighbour’s chi ball bore to a mango. At one point I very nearly crawled over and sunk my teeth in. Thank God I have subhuman restraint.

This is a chi ball . Deflated, when you’re hungry, it’s mango-esque.

2) The spectacular and very loud fart that NOBODY heard. Poor woman – I wanted to laugh it off with her but I suspect she hoped/imagined/dreamt it was unheard. Sometimes etiquette is stupid. And, to my eternal credit, I didn’t laugh. Like a teenaged boy, in a quiet space, I find farting hilarious.

3) My ineptitude with a theraband. These are the stretchy things that physios give you in rehab. I’d pulled it behind my foot in an ‘all-fours’ position, then tipped right off to the left, until SPLAT – I’d rolled over like a dog for a belly scratch. Being at the very back of the room, the gorgeous lady in front kindly drew it to everyone’s attention with ‘MAN DOWN!’

This is almost exactly how awesome I look with a theraband before I do the sideways roll over dog

In a nutshell – my kids get cuter, I get to swear unimpeded, work on being Ryan Gosling’s girlfriend (cos we all know THAT’S going to happen), make childish fart jokes inside my head and roll around like a sleepy itchy dog. Is exercise supposed to be this fun?

23 thoughts on “Another successful downward dog day

  1. This is the first time I’ve ever really wanted to go to the gym.

    I suspect my experience would be nothing like yours, but you wrote it so awesomely that I want to go all the same.

    I too love a good inappropriate fart-related snigger.

    • Farts will forever crack me up in the wrong place at the wrong time.
      And thank you. For the record – I love your fucking blog :)

  2. Yoga makes me hyper ventilate. Its a wonderful thing that the rounder and squishier I get the more Michael Fassbender adores me. Strangely my kids get more irritating the longer I am away from them.

  3. Lol at the Man Down comment! I think I enjoy the gadgetry too much to get much actual exercise in those classes. I use a fit ball as my seat at the computer. It provides the Zen, core strength stabilising, modern equivalent of spinning around on an office chair.

    • Snaps for you! I’ve been scared off those puppies since I was using one as my chair in the office when I was heavily pregnant, and rolled off! Reckon they could make a cartoon character about me.

  4. Teehee! After all those giggles, this blog is my new happy place! Favourite line? Stop photoshopping my kids while I’m gone. Teehee, I’ve lost it again!

  5. Thanks for the laughs! My happy place is the pool at the moment. I am slowly building up my stamina and really enjoying the quiet time.
    I find yoga classes intimidating, I would love to get back into it but here where I live it is too competitive and more concerned with what they are wearing than enjoying a fun class :(

    • Oh yuk – nothing worse than prove it kids at the gym. I’m the uncoolest cat out there – nothing lulu about my lemon. Straight from Big W! I admire people who have the motivation to run or swim and be quiet in their heads like you, working towards a goal to go further. I lack that determination I think. One day. Maybe!
      Thanks for visiting (and for laughing!) x

    • You’re right – something about the group environment makes such a difference. Treadmills leave me cold. There is something entirely more magical about a beach, though. If I relied on it for exercise it would sadly never happen :( I’m envious!

  6. Going for a walk each morning on my own is my time out for me to clear the head and get ready for the day ahead….but I never seem to have quite as much fun as that! And living in a house with 6 males….fart jokes are a pretty common occurrence and there is very little holding back!

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