How was your day dear? Bloody, like mine? Did you get rejected for a job you really want, after getting down to the last two candidates? Did you make a gourmet dinner again, then have to whip up some tinned baked beans to get the small things to eat? Is your head thumping? Treat it to a bloody drink! It bloody deserves it.
While you’re at it, don’t get mad, get Mary. Wine is for wimps. Rum is for ruminators (the loud and bloody rowdy kind). Gin is for gimps. Get your grump into a big, hard, mean, spicy Bloody Mary.
This is how you do it, Face First style.
- Pour vodka until somebody stops you
- Ice is nice
- Squeeze in a wedge of bloody lemon
- Pepper and Salt
- Celery bloody salt
- A martha farking truckload of Tabasco
- Lea and Perrins (YES fussy I am – it’s important) Woosta sauce: shake it till you should probably stop, then bloody shake it again
- Top with tomato juice
- When you think it’s all over, add a bit more Tabasco, just in case.
In case WHAT? I don’t bloody know! Stop asking me questions! Don’t you know I’m bad in interviews?
The good news for tomorrow is you can’t drink too many of these bloody things before you get full. Now you’ll have to move on to wine. You bloody wimp.
Tomorrow is another day. With pilates in it. Peace out, man. Yo.