I have no time to write blogs. I have no time to write Facebook updates. I have no headspace to do anything other than everything, but I need to vomit some words at you, so if you’re here, reading, please forgive me. I’m cleansing. wHERE THE HELL is the Poppins person who is going to stop me from losing my shit completely?
In classic time-poor lazy girl style, I’m going to bullet point this post. You can leave now if you want.
- I am working all the time
- When not working, I’m feeding or washing or doing kid’s homework (my Mathis us getting good) or stopping my kids from tearing each other apart with their vicious 5 year old girl words. They may not let each other use the purple texta or play with the unicorn tomorrow, and I couldn’t bear that.
- I went camping on the weekend. It was not glamping. There was a toilet but it was so far away I had to pee in a bush at 2am.
- Don’t tell anyone I peed in a bush
- Suspect others peed in the bush cos it smelt like wee.
- Like I said, not glamping, but beautiful, beautiful view of Lake Macquarie from our site.
- Despite tranquil spot, I have no clue how to relax.
- Storm came through that was so mental it blew our steaks off the table.
- Found steak the next morning in a box, next to a mug of red wine. Wept over the loss.
- Not really about the weeping, but the rest is ALL TRUE.
- Campsite told me to develop ‘shower tips’. I’ll give you 4 minute shower tips. Go in one shower for 4 mins, then the next shower, then the next shower. Make friends in the process if you really have to. Showers are my LIFE.
- This morning I put a dirty school uniform through the dryer to ‘iron it’ and ‘freshen it up’ because my house and life is such a mess.
- I am going to FIJI in 4 sleeps.
- There is a swim up bar, where I plan to sleep.
- I will buy bikinis everywhere with gay abandon, saying ‘ooh this one will match my Mai tai perfectly’, and ‘the colours in this bikini will really set off my frozen margherita’.
- Am denying reality that kids will be with me with sunscreen in their eyes and sand in their mouths.
- I am still drinking green smoothies and they taste GOOD so shuttup.