I had a dream …

Button pusher

Not about the winning horse, unfortunately. But as it’s Melbourne Cup day, I kind of felt like writing something a little frivolous and vacuous, since that’s how I’m feeling while I FOLD WASHING in a not-hat.

My subconscious has been hard at work again it seems, perving away while I’ve been a dutiful and oblivious wife with blinkers on, and unbeknownst to me, COMPLETELY changing my taste in men overnight. WHAT?

My leave pass. Let’s discuss.

Once upon a time my celebrity leave pass was always fairly blurry, but dark. At best I had a top 3. I will not bother going into a discussion here about the relative cognitive value of these celebrities, because that’s not really the point of this ONE NIGHT. And besides, the fabulous Mumabulous (she always leaves me short of creative adjectives) has done a thorough and well-considered round-up of the thinking woman’s crumpet here.

So, my original top three, in no particular order, were:

4. Robert Downey Jr.

Blue steel. Because I’m worth it

Since I saw him as a wee bairn in Chance Are (1989) with Cybill Shepherd and Ryan O’Neal I was sold. He’s a bit left-of-centre (plus), can take the piss (plus), is funny (plus), and can fly (bonus points). Minus? Even I couldn’t stay awake through the Sherlock Holmes movies. And he’s only about as tall as my shoulder.

3. John Cusack

I’m frowning in an ironic way.

He is smart AND sarcastic AND hot. He’s not all flashy Hollywood and actually seemslike a real 3-D person. He’s even on twitter, saying real things. He understands satire and has a dry sense of humour. He’s still on my list, but I’d rather drink scotch with him while he says witty things.

 2. Jake Gyllenhaal

It’s all in the eyes. Really. Yep. Does my hand look like it’s on a Bible?

Ahhh. New generation. No analysis here. Talking? Nope – don’t need talking. He has nice eyes. Yep. It’s all about the eyes.

You will notice a common theme here. They are all dark. They have a similar type of appeal I guess, a little out of the usual straight down the line Brad Pitt garden variety what-you-see-is-what-you-get.

BUT THEN THIS HAPPENED.

In my dream the other night, a vision appeared unto me. And this vision was a man. A beautiful, perspective, channel-changing, god of a man. And now there is only one. I can never go back to black. Or dark, I should say. Now there is only one leave pass for me. My leave pass is:

1. Chris Hemsworth

Phwoar … I mean – Thor.

What happened? There is clearly something of an abrupt change in my taste here. Why has my subconscious been quietly subverting me? Am I stereotyping these dark-haired boys into ‘complicated’ and ‘interesting’ categories based on nothing, and thinking that dear Chris is going to come and save me from them? Cos he will, you know. He just looks like a really nice guy.

Who’s on your leave pass list?