My Christmas Wish List – thanks Santa – NOW.

There’s a little wishing game going on, and the lovely Kelly at HT&T has bestowed upon me the honour of making my very own little wishy (I did not say washy cos I’m pretty bloody demanding) wish list. So, please, Santa, bring me all of the following. Preferably now, because it’s been a hell of a hectic week, I’m impatient, and I shouldn’t even be writing this post. I’m stealing my own working time and I’ve been awake since 5am. I want to wish for altruistic things, but I’m feeling like a cranky 5-year old right now. So here is my cranky 5-year old wish list.

First of all, dear slightly rotund man with rather flattering forest moss-like facial hair (because we all know flattery will get you everywhere, right?) I would like some world peace. WHATEVER. I’m not in a beauty pageant. Let’s start small. I would like some house peace please. Just baby steps. Let’s not bite off more than we can chew, hey? Santa … you and me – we’ve got this. We work together, pull this off, I reckon we’ve got the other wishes IN THE BAG. Metaphorically speaking, of course. I really need you to grant me this one though please, because this one is more than I can bite off and chew by myself. I’m tired, I’m poor, I think I meant to say time poor, and they just. keep. arguing. I want some little cherubs all wrapped up in shiny packages under my tree please, hugging each other and saying ‘yes mummy, of course we’ll brush our teeth and go straight to bed, because bed is LOVELY and so is sleep.’

Oooh look! Presents containing perfect angel children! Weeeee!

Now that you’re warmed up, I would like you to bring me something slightly more challenging. The Fountain of Eternal Youth. This fountain should be made from champagne (french – preferably Veuve). You’re laughing at me now, but really, I’m not asking for too much. I swear. I’m ok with growing old … I just want to LOOK awesome while I do it. Rot my organs, atrophy my pelvic floor, but for goodness sake, let my skin not sag below the jawline! I’m not being vain, just pragmatic. Nobody will listen to me about the world peace thing with a sagging jawline.

Slight tack change here. A karaoke machine. This one sounds selfish too, but it’s not. Everyone has a drinking ‘curse’. Mine is singing. Get a few under my belt (you’d know about that, right? I always leave you a coldie on Christmas Eve, and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one…. you’ve got elves to steer that reindeer ship, right?) and I’m compelled. It’s a force of nature and I can’t fight it. I simply must sing. Maybe if there was a karaoke machine in my house I could stop singing into bottles, hairbrushes, using tables as my stage and generally tormenting family and friends. Maybe. And you know what? The kids would just LOVE it. (They’re genetically programmed, see.)

I look just as cute as Taylor Swift when i sing into a hairbrush *she says snorting tea out her nose*

A bottomless cup of tea. I understand. You probably only give away one of these each year, and clearly the rightful recipient should be Catherine at Cup of Tea and a Blog but since she decided to forgo her wish this year by instead jumping in the tardis, I’m putting my hand up. Tea tastes SO much better when it’s made by someone else, and I just keep boiling the kettle, and boiling it, and boiling it, and then nothing else happens … As a recreational activity it’s ok, but if you could make me a cup of Assam Bold (Twinings, thanks – or otherwise Yorkshire Tea, since I’m sure you have access to it) that keeps magically refilling, piping hot, I’d be MOST GRATEFUL. There’s even a kiss in it for you if you deliver this one ;)

Tea, to the power of 5! K?

One more. All of the books. All of them my kids and I ever want to read. This would take up a considerable amount of space, obviously, so we’re going to have to call on that old faithful here.

The bottomless pit of books – all the storage you could want, plus an unoriginal idea. Who, me?

 

Now – I’ve left this wishing game rather late, and many of you may already have played, since I’ve been out of bloggy loopy land this week. So please point at me and laugh if you’re already tagged. If not, I’d LOVE to see your list:

The Things I’d Tell You

The Kids are All Right

Lydias Lunchbox of Thoughts

Declutterbug vs Captain Stingypants