My Christmas Wish List – thanks Santa – NOW.

There’s a little wishing game going on, and the lovely Kelly at HT&T has bestowed upon me the honour of making my very own little wishy (I did not say washy cos I’m pretty bloody demanding) wish list. So, please, Santa, bring me all of the following. Preferably now, because it’s been a hell of a hectic week, I’m impatient, and I shouldn’t even be writing this post. I’m stealing my own working time and I’ve been awake since 5am. I want to wish for altruistic things, but I’m feeling like a cranky 5-year old right now. So here is my cranky 5-year old wish list.

First of all, dear slightly rotund man with rather flattering forest moss-like facial hair (because we all know flattery will get you everywhere, right?) I would like some world peace. WHATEVER. I’m not in a beauty pageant. Let’s start small. I would like some house peace please. Just baby steps. Let’s not bite off more than we can chew, hey? Santa … you and me – we’ve got this. We work together, pull this off, I reckon we’ve got the other wishes IN THE BAG. Metaphorically speaking, of course. I really need you to grant me this one though please, because this one is more than I can bite off and chew by myself. I’m tired, I’m poor, I think I meant to say time poor, and they just. keep. arguing. I want some little cherubs all wrapped up in shiny packages under my tree please, hugging each other and saying ‘yes mummy, of course we’ll brush our teeth and go straight to bed, because bed is LOVELY and so is sleep.’

Oooh look! Presents containing perfect angel children! Weeeee!

Now that you’re warmed up, I would like you to bring me something slightly more challenging. The Fountain of Eternal Youth. This fountain should be made from champagne (french – preferably Veuve). You’re laughing at me now, but really, I’m not asking for too much. I swear. I’m ok with growing old … I just want to LOOK awesome while I do it. Rot my organs, atrophy my pelvic floor, but for goodness sake, let my skin not sag below the jawline! I’m not being vain, just pragmatic. Nobody will listen to me about the world peace thing with a sagging jawline.

Slight tack change here. A karaoke machine. This one sounds selfish too, but it’s not. Everyone has a drinking ‘curse’. Mine is singing. Get a few under my belt (you’d know about that, right? I always leave you a coldie on Christmas Eve, and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one…. you’ve got elves to steer that reindeer ship, right?) and I’m compelled. It’s a force of nature and I can’t fight it. I simply must sing. Maybe if there was a karaoke machine in my house I could stop singing into bottles, hairbrushes, using tables as my stage and generally tormenting family and friends. Maybe. And you know what? The kids would just LOVE it. (They’re genetically programmed, see.)

I look just as cute as Taylor Swift when i sing into a hairbrush *she says snorting tea out her nose*

A bottomless cup of tea. I understand. You probably only give away one of these each year, and clearly the rightful recipient should be Catherine at Cup of Tea and a Blog but since she decided to forgo her wish this year by instead jumping in the tardis, I’m putting my hand up. Tea tastes SO much better when it’s made by someone else, and I just keep boiling the kettle, and boiling it, and boiling it, and then nothing else happens … As a recreational activity it’s ok, but if you could make me a cup of Assam Bold (Twinings, thanks – or otherwise Yorkshire Tea, since I’m sure you have access to it) that keeps magically refilling, piping hot, I’d be MOST GRATEFUL. There’s even a kiss in it for you if you deliver this one ;)

Tea, to the power of 5! K?

One more. All of the books. All of them my kids and I ever want to read. This would take up a considerable amount of space, obviously, so we’re going to have to call on that old faithful here.

The bottomless pit of books – all the storage you could want, plus an unoriginal idea. Who, me?

 

Now – I’ve left this wishing game rather late, and many of you may already have played, since I’ve been out of bloggy loopy land this week. So please point at me and laugh if you’re already tagged. If not, I’d LOVE to see your list:

The Things I’d Tell You

The Kids are All Right

Lydias Lunchbox of Thoughts

Declutterbug vs Captain Stingypants 

 

25 thoughts on “My Christmas Wish List – thanks Santa – NOW.

  1. Oh you gots to get yourself singstar lady. I bought a secondhand PS2 with mics last year for a measly few buck just for this purpose. (I probably should have bought my neighbours earplugs too. They don’t make eye contact with me anymore….)

    • Omg lady … You won’t believe what husband Santa gave me. Suspect me reads my blog sometimes. I am now the proud owner of the wii version of singstar!

  2. Excellent list! Especially the inclusion of a karaoke machine. My husband bought me a Play Station and Singstar for my birthday one year. Biggest regret of his life! :) x

  3. I think they’re all perfectly reasonable requests. I especially like number 1. Perhaps you could just siphon off some for me?! I’m not too fussed about the youth part (although I wouldn’t mind!), it’s the veuve I’m after!!

    • You are wise, mother Emily. For I’m halfway through three different books, and have no time to finish any of them. I’m going to need that bookshelf to be functional so I can step inside and borrow time.

  4. Ohmigod ohmigod, we DEFINITELY need to be friends. Drunken kararoke, endless cups of tea, and to be forever beautiful. Yep, those are some ideal wishes. Well played Kim, well played x

  5. Hi Kimbo. My wish is a pre-Christmas wish. I wish that the world doesn’t end on 21 December. Mainly because this is my last day of work before two weeks of holidays. And I REALLY need a holiday.

    I watched one of those conspiracy docos on Discovery last night about 2012 and the end of the world. My outward cynicism belies the internal concern growing in my mind after bearded expert after pony-tailed author man kept confirming that the world is going to end on 21 December. I even considered taking the day off work to spend it with Doug and Ivy… just in case.

    There was no wine involved.

    See? I REALLY need a holiday. So I wish for the world not to end on 21 December. Issa x

    • Ah crap. How did I miss that one? I watch all the nerdy doco crazy conspiracy theory shows. Are you sure it’s not just ending in NZ? You can come and hang out over here with me if it does. Grab your Mary Poppins umbrella and fly over here with Ivy and Doug ok hun? xxx

  6. Absolutely love your wish list! I think if everyone had cherubs who enable more sleep, bottomless cups of tea and karaoke after a few wines the world peace thing would be covered. So really, this is a very unselfish list that gives to all.

    • Thanks so much Roxanne! I’m feeling much more noble and benevolent now. You can stay and keep saying nice things ALL the time. I might add a Roxanne to my list ;)

    • Becc – I’ve been trying to comment on your page … not sure if something’s not working? Either way – I’m hereby tagging you NOW – make a wish list post please!!! :) I want to see what you’re doing with all that Veuve.

  7. What Kim – No Chris Hemsworth on this list? Mine’s completely Fass-cinating. Mumabulous is getting predictable I fear. I’ve got my eye on the Tardis book case. It would look great in Dadabulous’ office next to the inflatable dalek with the saggy dalek appendage. For real – he has an inflatable dalek just by the front door and one of his programmers has a sonic screwdriver. Software developers are too hip to be square.

    • Naaaaah. I may have modified my leave pass for a flip back to Jake. A win for the bad boys after all. Besides – fence-sitting can’t really get me in trouble, as long as it’s not yet laminated.

    • Me neither – i must confess it’s recycled from an earlier post (ashamed little head hanging moment). I’m SO VERY HAPPY to have found some tardis-y kindred spirits!!!!! ;)

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