Do you ever eat your books in three courses? Have one on the go as your entree (like a biography), one as main course (like ‘literature’), and one for dessert (like trashy chick lit)? Or is that just me? Sometimes I even eat them like Maccas Happy meals.
I get that it’s the usual way to eat your books like noodles in a box. You start at the start, and stop when there’s none left. I have never, ever finished a box of noodles. I get bored partway through, and just stop eating. With books, I sometimes like to mix up the flavour depending on my mood too, and have a few on the go at a time so I can munch on the right one at the right time of day. So I’m not eating figurative dinner books at figurative breakfast book time. Yep. I know. I’ve been told I’m crazy already. Too late to change now.
Over summer I snacked on the hard copy Hunger Games while on the beach (sand – you know. Ate some of that too. Crunchy.) I reserved the main meal books for the Kindle back at the ranch (aka the beautiful beach house de friend I love dearly). I’ll outline my course choices for you below, and explain why the flavours complement each other so beautifully.
The breakfast read:
An area I’m fairly sure I could excel in 2014 is as trash mag rogue photo editor. This is not even a book, but I need to read something while I eat cereal. A trashy mag sits in front if me? I’ll read it. Beats the milk carton nutrition information. Perfect for the slowly unfurling brain. Now, beware… I’m not sure if you want to copy this look as they suggest, but I sure as hell don’t. No extra appendages for me this year, thanks.
The mid-morning entree
The Princess Bride – William Goldman. A classic. Hilarious, light, funny. It has adventure, swords, princess Buttercup, and razor-sharp narration from William Goldman that you miss out on in the movie. And bonus? It was only 99c on the Kindle store. Read. This. Book. If you need any more convincing, do I need to remind you? “My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare, to die.”
I’ve quoted this line with such glee so often over the years, completely randomly and out of context, it’s been really enjoyable seeing it in its true home.
The Elegance of the Hedgehog – Muriel Barbery. This is LITERATURE, people. But also very, very good. Smart and funny, brilliantly witty writing with an intriguing and unusual story about interpersonal relationships and hidden identities slowly creeping to the surface. I love the nuances in this book. It takes time though, to soak in the words.
Me talk Pretty One Day – David Sedaris. Cheese and biscuits. A light snack for me. He’s very witty and amusing, but this is real life, and I don’t like too much of that. Reality? Pah. He is clever though.
No-one ever Has Sex on a Tuesday – Tracy Bloom. This one is pretty obvious. Marshmallows with Persian fairy floss on top. My tired tiredy-pants brain is often skipping straight to dessert at the moment. This is fun fluff about a woman accidentally getting knocked up. Token gay bestie, two men fighting over the same woman, etc. It’s a good larff, with an ff. Can’t remember much else about it but it’s funny. Oh, and it was only 99c at the Kindle e-store.
I think you can probably understand the benefits of my literary nutritional style. I get all the value, without the bloat. I should point out though, that I haven’t actually finished ANY of these books as yet. The concept kind of assumes I have vast uninterrupted barrowfuls of time to gorge myself on these book meals, rather than having, say, CHILDREN. So I eat them like fast food. Munch on a cold chip here and there, for about 3 months. Eventually I finish them. I enjoy them just the same.
Mmmmmm books. YUMMY.