All the burning questions

I’m bursting with burning questions. I need answers, people, and I need them now. Please help, and if you can’t, send chocolate. Or booze. Or boozy chocolate.

What follows is a random and eclectic mix of the questions filling up prime real estate in my brain. There is not enough space in there. These need clearing out. Don’t be dismissive. They are all VERY important. They all NEED ANSWERS. Don’t be upset by the lack of flow. Or be upset – but don’t ask me to help you with it. I am too busy with my questions to care. Sorry.

  1. Where did the ridiculous expression ‘wanting to have your cake and eat it too’ come from? I want to have my cake and eat it too. Is that bad? Of course I want to eat it too! Who wants to just look at cake?
  2. Why can’t I catch the rabbit roaming freely in my garden (eating all the herbs in my veggie patch)?
  3. Do I have to cut down on my viewing frequency of ‘Breaking Bad’ if, when I go to make my Easi-yo yoghurt in the morning, I say it in my head like an instruction to a dude who needs to calm the hell down, like ‘Easy, yo’.
  4. If you shave your legs down ‘with the grain’ (also – does hair even HAVE a grain?) instead of up, assuming you had magical contortionist arms, would they last longer between shaves? Do any real people actually do this?
  5. Why is everything 10 times more funny when you need to pee?
  6. Kids. AGH. This is not a question. Merely punctuation.
  7. Why is there a Jeans for Genes Day, and a Canteen Day with bandanas charity day, but no charity day yet that involves wearing pyjamas all day? I would fundraise the CRAP out of that day. Oh yes.
  8. Why do Americans on TV shows say ‘I could care less’ when they’re implying they don’t care – when Aussies in the same situation say ‘I couldn’t care less’. Does not one person stop to consider that in saying this expression, they’re in fact saying ‘Yes. I care. More than I want to.’ Don’t get me started on aluminum.
  9. Why is the amount of late you’re running directly proportional to the number of times your kid will decide they need an outfit change?
  10. Will Jennifer Aniston ever do something different with her hair?
  11. Will Angelina Jolie ever wear a colour that’s not black?
  12. Will the world ever stop turning?
  13. Will I ever stop gazing at my navel?
  14. Why is Facebook so stupid?
  15. Did unicorns exist once, like dinosaurs, and evolve into horses once their horns dropped off? Perhaps we’ve just not dug up any unicorn horn fossils as yet. Food for thought here…
  16. Perhaps most importantly… vodka or gin?

xx

photo credit: via photopin

29 thoughts on “All the burning questions

  1. Very much food for thought and now have you me pondering on ‘ You made your bed, you lie in it’! Well yes, I’d like to thank you!

    I agree, I’ve pondered over the cake one for years. As for Vodka or Gin, ummm how about Bailey’s? Mmmmmm

    :-) Slipping in from #IBOT but NOT teamIbot that would be the crime of impersonating awesomeness.
    Jules recently posted…Stuck In The MudMy Profile

    • Baileys? Hell yes- i’ll have that too, thanks. Claim the awesomeness!!! IBOT is also all about the people in it – thanks for stopping by. :)

    • Agh you hurt my eyes Janet! You typed the dreaded words …. But you’re right – trivialities. Time to focus on the bigger things. Onwards and upwards! Thanks for visiting :)

  2. Yep they sure are some burning questions. I particularly like the unicorn theory, I am in favour of anything that may show those beautiful creatures really did walk the earth.

    Fairy wishes and butterfly kisses #teamIBOT
    Rhianna recently posted…Healing FoodsMy Profile

  3. I love these!

    Breaking Bad is the best show ever created. Stat.
    I often feel urges at work to say ‘Yo’ and ‘Bitch’ at the end of my sentences.
    I love Jesse Pinkman more than words can say.

    I am an English teacher and I have trouble with those expressions too!
    Also hate “Let’s see if we can’t win the Lotto” and “More often than not”.
    I DON’T GET THEM YO!

    Lastly, when there is no wine, it has to be vodka. But will happily accept scotch too. I’m not fussy, really. X

    • I would LOVE you to say bitch and yo at work! I just had to stop typing and laugh for 5 mins while I pictured you doing that in class, yo. I’ll take scotch too, bitch. On the rocks. But only after midnight. Xx

    • YES! Grrrr. See, ‘sidewalk’ makes perfect sense, because you’re walking on the side (of the road). Why not make more sensible expressions like that? As a side note, I, too, would quite like to get lucky. It has that other meaning, too, remember? ;)

    • Vodka is winning on the votes it seems… And legs shave UP according to the wise words of miss Emily below. With whom I always, always agree.

  4. 1. The idiom used to be the other way around. So you couldn’t eat your cake, and have it too. Which makes far more sense.
    4. My friend is a beautician. She swears you wouldn’t get as close to the surface if you did it going down. So no, they wouldn’t last as long.
    5. Murphy.
    8. I could care less was the original saying. I agree – it doesn’t make sense. Which is why some bright spark changed it later to try to imbue it with more sense. But that change didn’t filter all the way back.
    16. Rum.

    xx
    Emily recently posted…Pregnancy is an experience of contradictionsMy Profile

    • Emily! I knew I could count on you for all the sense! Thank you so much. We have to book a rum date post-baby. Make mine a dark n’stormy, thanks!

  5. So, is this what happens when you up your migraine medication? ;) Re the hair shaving thing, I was only recently reading this entry on Snopes (http://www.snopes.com/oldwives/hairgrow.asp) which says that most of the wives’ tales about shaving – such as that hair grows back thicker after shaving – are false. So I’m gonna say that shaving with or against the grain would make no difference. It’s a small contribution to your quest, but it’s all I got :)
    Lara @ This Charming Mum recently posted…3 things WAHMs can learn from working at Macca’sMy Profile

    • Ha yes! All the randomness collides! A solid contribution indeed, thanks mate. My leg hair will be forever grateful (and smooth), thank you. How good is Snopes!?

  6. Vodka, always, because you have to have tonic with gin and that’s gross; vodka with cake or chocolate, even better, and I would suggest buying yourself some unicorn pyjamas and start a boozy chocolate day of rest? I’m sure there must be a charity that could use that one. I don’t know what it is yet but you could work out the details later :)
    Enid Bite’Em recently posted…Socially Acceptable InsultsMy Profile

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

CommentLuv badge